Bashers Monday Night League Report | Bashers League Wound Up |
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| Written by Basher | |
| Saturday, 02 June 2007 | |
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INDIVIDUALS SCORES AND AVERAGES 15/8 If a slap don't work, you cut 'em or you pay 'em, but you keep your receipts, cos this ain't the Mafia
With the A teamers occupied else where (I won't go into too much detail regarding that) Sexual Chocolate were represented by The Basher, Josh Gaystain and the short armed Nick Kaxe who introduced us all to new badassbowling fan Scarlet Kaxe. Tonight's opponents were the scummy scummers Tara represented by Stevie, Bazza Wiggs and Lipscum. Basher didn't start too well with a split then a 5 spare, but he tightened it all up and strung a load together after some majestic shots and had a 258 to Stevies 193. Josh was playing well and he backed Basher up with a 236-173 win against Wigsy. Kaxe also started slowly with back to back opens, then like Basher, but not quite as good Kaxe strung a load together for a 233. But Nick's 233 wasn't enought to beat Gits 246 and Tara nicked a point.
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Into game 2 Basher again was superb and despite being shut out slapped in a 232 beating Stevies 179. Taxi for Kaxe backed basher with a fine 242, obvisouly showing off to his daughter. The weak link was that tall streak of piss Joshua who had a 203 which to be fair would beat old Wiggsy pretty much every week - but the old boy struck out in the 10th frame for a 205 and they stole another point.
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The final game - Basher rounded off a fine set with a 233, but Stevie stole a point with a 259. Josh made sure of the last game with a 194-170 win agaist Bazzler. And Kaxe won the final game against Guy 194-159
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Sexual chocolate did play another match - but I can't really remember what happened - though I sure we won !!! - and if we didn't its only because the other team cheated.
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Scores
Basher - 258,232,233
Josh - 236,203,194
Nick - 233,242,194
Tara
Stevie - 193,179,259
Barry - 173-205-170
Guy - 246,190,159
Sexual Chocolate 17- Tara 3 Team History Established in 1998 at Lloyds Lanes, Enfield Documented history starts in 2000 1999/2000 season, Enfield - Team Name "Rhubarb Crunchers" - 3rd place 2000/2001 season, Enfield - Team Name "Berkley Hunts" - 2nd place 2002/2003 season, Enfield - Team Name "Chocolate Starfish" - League Abandoned 2002/2003 season, Airport - Team Name "flaps" - 5th place 2003/2004 season, Airport - Team Name "4 Skins" - 2nd place 2004/2005 season, Airport - Team Name "Beaver cleavers" - 5th place 2005/2006 season, Airport - Team Name "The Girth" - 9th place 2007/2008 season, Dunstable - Team Name " Team Global" - 2nd place 2008/2009 season, Dunstable - Team Name "Team Global" - 3rd place Records for TRIOS Team High Game - 764 Team High Series - 2176 High Game - 300, Kirsten Penny, Zara Glover, Basher Bonfield High Series - Zara Glover 787 Records for Doubles Team High Game - 538 Team High Series - 1918 High Series (4games) - Iain McCorkindale 1007 The Players Basher Bonfield - AKA - Skin, Bones, Big Boy, Cemetery, Games - 726 Average 202.85 High Game 300 High Series 751 High Series (4 games) 978 Graeme Wilson - AKA - The Golden One, Baldy, Castro, Willy Games 156 Average 187.71 High Game 279 High Series 683 High Series (4 games) 860 Robert Bruce - AKA - Mullet, Sweaty, Porridge Eater Games 18 Average 190 High Game 237 High Series 642 James O'Dwyer - AKA - JOD, Cat shagger, Jimmy No Swimmers, Orange Man, Richest Lorry driver in the world. Games 517 Average 202.44 High Game 299 High Series 752 High Series (4 Games) 964 Steve Wright - AKA - Fingers, Sir Steve in the afternoon Games 240 Average 191.51 High Game 273 High Series 656 High Series (4 games) 880 Simon Brown - AKA - Browny Games - 69 Average 198.31 High game 278 High Series 702 Mark Simeone - AKA - The Don, Sim-1 Games 6 Average 211 High Game 268 High Series 692 Allan Buck - AKA - Thick Al Games 27 Average 195 High Game 279 High Series 675 James Lambert - AKA - The Enfield Ripper, Peter, The Murder Games 30 Average 186 High Game 235 High Series 653 Mick Woollard - AKA - Old boy, Micky, Get the beers in Games 24 Average 184 High Game 226 High Series 631 Iain McCorkindale -AKA - Corky, Hagrid, Gangly no arse, Gangster Games 312 Average 203.57 High Game 287 High Series (4 games) 1007 Dan Eason - AKA - Homo, Easy Rider, Sqeason, Millhouse, Walter the Softy, Games 84 Average 200.64 High Game 255 High Series (4 games) 945 Thomas Cheung - AKA - Hong Kong Games 32 Average 212.40 High Game 267 High Series (4 games) 930 Nick Kaxe - AKA - Taxi 4 Kaxe, Little Nick Games 87 Average 202.79 High Game 299 High Series 712 High Series (4 games) 974 Dave Kendall - AKA - Mini mint, Virgin Games 36 Average 199 High Game 256 High Series (4 games) 899 Kirsten Penny - AKA - KP, Kay Pea, Games 99 Average 214.61 High Game 300 High Series 772 Matt Giles - AKA - G, Big Head, Rubber Lipped Homo Games 102 Average 219.05 High Game 290 High Series 781 Zara Glover - AKA - Z, Zee, Zed, Games 63 Average 225.36 High Game 300 High Series 787 Tyrone Duke - AKA - Ice, The Dude, The Duke, Black Ice, Crazy Legs Games 198 Average 213.46 High Game 299 High Series 746 Richard Lewis - AKA - Revs, The Ghost, Bond, 4 Jags Games 21 Average 185.6 High Game 240 High Series 642 Ashley Trew - AKA Trew-Bakka, Trewy, Games 3 Average 171 High game 184 High Series 513 John Wells - Wellsy, Mr 300 Games 3 Average 227 High Game 248 High Series 683 |
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| Last Updated ( Tuesday, 24 August 2010 ) |
written by dean pattison on July 16, 2007
your an idiot if you read your scores it showes that team global won 21 - 8 you mugg
Message from Basher - Shut it you Virgin, I admit I was wrong. We did win the match but I was relying on JOD telling me the score. By the way we didn't win 21-8 it was 12-8 you little numpty. Now do one !
written by deann on July 19, 2007
and this that you should do the workings out your self and rely on overss
Message from Basher - you ought to sort ya typing skills out pal.
written by deann on July 19, 2007
lazy ....................
written by Castro on July 31, 2007
Bash/R hurry up and update the wound up, it's the best bit about bowling.
Message from basher - Chill Winston ! Its done !
written by Castro on August 01, 2007
What about last weeks.
Message from Basher
I wasn't there and Matt was supposed to do it - but as we lost it got 'censored'
written by Castro on August 01, 2007
A**e Bandits.
You only chirp when your winning.
written by Bowler on August 15, 2007
Out of curosity how did you get on, on Monday?
Message from Basher - report coming tomorrow. We were all shout out !
written by Adam on August 15, 2007
The Licker's lost...!
Basher was shutout after the 5th frame..!
Message from Basher - The cream still rose to the top though didn't it with a 108 pin win in the last game. I've never been so shut out !
written by Boot on August 16, 2007
It proves one thing. Without george your only half the team you were.
Bad times!!
written by **** on October 12, 2007
Come on Basher. There's the JOD bowling the almost and you haven't even updated his highest score record...Tut Tut.
Message from Basher
All right calm down. I usually wait till the end of the season. But to stop ya moaning its done for ya.
written by Boot on October 24, 2007
Bash
Did he actually say the words "a birds ring piece"?
Message from Basher - I dunno something like that. I was distracted by him shoving his hernia in my face.
written by Boot on December 21, 2007
Mr Bash
I'm glad you managed to find time in your busy schedule to update the League wound-up this week. Last week felt incomplete without your column.
By the way, how did Global get on last week?
Message from Basher: - I can't remember !, but I'm sure we won and if we didn't we must have been cheated out of it somehow.
written by Castro on February 07, 2008
Get me back in the team in place of the useless Bash/r
Message from Basher - you want to play on Monday ?
written by Castro on February 11, 2008
The Great One is back.
I'll be having 530 with ease tonight, just you watch.
written by Castro on February 12, 2008
I even surprised myself, i had 571.
The usual 145 was thrown in, just because i can.
written by Castro on February 15, 2008
Basher has realised his error, and brings the Wilson in for a 2nd week running.
Message from Basher - well that and I've broken my finger and there was no one else ! hahahah. - You better be on top form its a tricky match on Monday.
written by Castro on February 19, 2008
Don't think i'll be in next week after a 538.
Fucking lanes 1&2
written by American college student on February 19, 2008
Anyway I read on t'internet this morning that ' Castro has retired' - surley the lanes weren't that bad last night ?
written by Castro on February 19, 2008
Yep, they were that bad.
It's not true about retiring just yet. Although i may do before the end of the year.
written by Ad on February 19, 2008
Yep they were pretty bad last nite.
No oil and playing on 1 & 2 not my idea of fun...!
written by Ad on February 21, 2008
Ice, Who the hell is this bowler we havent heard of called Paul Moore. You Licker...!
written by Castro on March 05, 2008
I could have played.
I only had millions the other night.
It's an outrage.
written by Castro on March 17, 2008
I will have 560 tonight.
Message from Basher
Steady on ! Don't go setting your self unrealistic goals.
Actually you better have a f**k site more then 560 my friend !
written by Castro on March 18, 2008
Was 640 ok Captain Bash/R.
You should sack Giles off.
written by Castro on April 08, 2008
Bash/r you left a vital part of the report off.
Message from Basher
Turn it in. You will get me shut down, banned and probably shot if I printed that.
written by Castro on April 09, 2008
BOTTLER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
written by The Captain on April 09, 2008
I'll bottle you in a minute you hand pump.
I've got a 1-0 record - don't mess.
written by Ad on April 09, 2008
Haha...! And the only reason you won that one was the help of your mum and her hard hitting shoe...!lol
written by Bash on April 09, 2008
Did you win on monday Licker ?
written by Ad on April 10, 2008
Na we lost 11-9 to team virgin..!
written by Bash on April 10, 2008
Took 9 points off them that aint bad ! - I bet they got a stern talking to afterwards !
I can't believe were still the only team to beat them this season. And we had the weak link KP bowling that week as well.
written by Ad on April 10, 2008
We should of done better but me and Deli belly didnt bowl that great but Boot had a blinder 750ish. The A team is back for the first time in a while nxt week.
Me,Gay and the Boot Licker..!
written by Castro on April 15, 2008
What a piss poor report.
I left a ringing 10pin in the 4th frame you mug.
Message from Basher.
It was weak. The 8 pin barely fell over. I thought Sir steve was bowling in our team again when I saw the ball hit !
written by Castro on April 15, 2008
Also, your stats are wrong as i've had a few 700's at Enfield.
Message from Basher
Not in any of my teams you aint !
written by Castro on April 16, 2008
Yeah i did. We had the 3com shirts and it was at Enfield.
written by Pedantic Phil on April 29, 2008
Basher you numpty
Those aint the Laser Strikers - its strikeforce
ffs your finger drugs gone to your brain or summit?
Message from Basher
Oh yeah your right! Soz I'll get it changed. I'm in so much pain from my finger that you have to forgive these little mistakes
written by Castro on May 16, 2008
F**king w**k.
written by Castro on May 21, 2008
IDIOTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
written by Castro on June 03, 2008
How can we lose to the scummers.
Oh the shame.
written by Castro on June 18, 2008
UPDATES YOU LICKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!
written by Castro on June 25, 2008
Shambles.
UPDATE THE PLAYERS AVERAGES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
written by Castro on July 22, 2008
You'll regret dropping me.
I'll come back to haunt ya.
written by Bash on July 22, 2008
you aint been dropped ! we still need ya.
Your on a season long loan to get 1st team experience - most teams do it with their 'youngsters'
written by Castro on July 23, 2008
Well i am only 29.
written by MJ on July 30, 2008
Brian has a cheek mouthing off to Miss ZG,
I hope i bowl against him soon.
I'll moon walk all up and down his ass.
written by taxi 4 kaxe on August 01, 2008
get me back in the team!
written by Castro on August 11, 2008
Boycott them Kaxe.
written by Castro on August 12, 2008
Fucking cheak.
Drop me, then bring in the Revs.
written by Bash on August 12, 2008
Didn't drop you !
You would have played in this game - if you weren't a fubar team member !
written by Castro on August 12, 2008
Get me back in next year, i wanna play with K.P
Also, i missed the Potz review when i rinsed it up the other week, do you still have it.
written by Castro on August 20, 2008
Do the update for your arse kicking the other night.
KP was super LIVID!!!!!!!!! I mean LIVID!!!!!!!!
written by Castro on September 11, 2008
Piss poor reporting.
Started off well, then you just couldn't be fucked could ya.
Rubbish.
PS KP was still Livid.
written by London Pro Shop lover on September 22, 2008
How did Global get on against The London Pro Shop????
written by Castro on September 22, 2008
They lost of course, hence no report.
written by The Bash on September 23, 2008
There will be a report from this weeks match posted ! Oh by the way we won that and I was brillant, well apart from the 149 1st game.
There's no biased or censored journalism on this website !
Reason there was no report was because Ice didn't write the scores down - oh and we lost narrowly because the other team cheated and played the 'socks'
written by Castro on September 23, 2008
Yes there fucking is, you never publish my full reports, do ya........
MUG!!!!!!!!!
written by Castro on September 30, 2008
Gotta love the KP shooting a Max.
written by Castro on October 03, 2008
No fucking report, even though the lovely KP had a 300.
Your a disgrace.
written by Castro on October 03, 2008
I'll retract that last statement, about time too.
written by editor on October 03, 2008
sorry dude but I've been really busy at work !
1st 300 for over 2500 games - i hope we don't have to wait so long for the next one !
written by griffter on October 05, 2008
Just read this week's report. Miller - 299 to lose the pot--- haha ha ha ha.
Unlucky fella!!! Laughed so much I nearly wet myself.
Nice work KP
Wx
written by ... on October 07, 2008
Any truth in the rumour the riot squad were called out to the bowl after tonights league?
written by Mark B on October 23, 2008
I've created a league for PBA Fantasy Bowling - it's called Dunstable Bowlers, no password. Just search for it on the PBA Fantasy website.
written by Castro on October 29, 2008
G is no team, top showboating though.
written by Castro on November 05, 2008
The scores don't tell the true story, i was superb all night. Couldn't carry for shit, especially once Basher got the drinks in.
written by Castro on January 21, 2009
Looks like Global lost last week then.
No report, only chirp when your winning. Mugs. Except for the poorly KP she's lovely.
written by fingers on February 18, 2009
Looks more like Slack Ice
written by taxi 4 kaxe on March 16, 2009
its all about the return of taxi 4 kaxe...
watch this space.....
hope I break 6 now
written by taxi 4 kaxe on March 17, 2009
the triumphant return of taxi...
650 up em!
written by Castro on July 28, 2009
Bunch of mugs.
You would have one with the Golden One.
Whats happened to the JOD
written by bash on July 29, 2009
Its a long story .....
bascially Jod like your self has become disillusioned with the game and he came to verdict that its a SG4C's
But he will be back - I think Nikki will make come him back or she will end up killing him !
written by taxi 4 kaxe on August 02, 2009
plus next season i will make more appearances so we are bound to win it!
written by Castro on September 25, 2009
3 weeks into the season.
And only one fucking report.
Fucking useless.
2 bob site.
PS RIP Bob the Dog.
written by Mr Basher on September 25, 2009
I've been away on holiday !
Is that o.k with you !
You right RIP bob the dog ! - still missed ! - smelly little flea bag
written by taxi 4 kaxe on September 28, 2009
taxi 4 kaxe needs a game..
written by Castro on October 15, 2009
Oi you retard. Put the player scores up, i know you write them in the match report, but a pro would take the time to show the scores in a proper format.
SG4C's
PS When we golfing Bash/R
written by Castro on November 01, 2009
Looks like the mugs lost again, as no report.
Shambles of a website.
written by Bash/r on November 02, 2009
No we didn't have a game last monday !
So calm ya skin down !
written by Castro on December 14, 2009
You obviously lost on Monday.
No report.
written by bash on December 14, 2009
No report was there was no match ! - its was postponed !
chill winston !
This is not the sort of website to only shout when we are winning you know !
written by taxi 4 kaxe "the axe man" on December 15, 2009
we won last night though even though gibbo and ice threw two points away....
written by Castro on December 16, 2009
You only chirp when your winning.
Thats a fact.
written by Castro on January 07, 2010
Shove it up the scummers.
Good work.
PS It's a SG4C's
written by taxi 4 kaxe on January 13, 2010
it is a SG4C's...
only way to stop losing these valuable points is to put "the axe man" "taxi 4 kaxe" in for a clean sweep....
written by Boot on January 27, 2010
When I heard that history had been made.....I thought perhaps you had bought a round in.
Turns out you fielded 6 people on Monday night.
written by Castro on February 02, 2010
You fuckers are in trouble on the 15th Feb 2010.
written by Fingers on February 18, 2010
Have some of that you mugs!
written by Castro on March 25, 2010
I love the KP
Top Bombing.
written by Castro on April 29, 2010
Fucking scores you hand pump.
More top bombing from KP
written by Castro on August 24, 2010
You lot got a royal ass whooping last night.
Lets see if you still only chirp when your winning.
written by Castro on August 24, 2010
Yes its true, you only chirp when you are winning.
We shoved 2222 up you, and you got spanked.
KP was awesome though.